5/7/2026
Added a ton of links (unsorted) to 'find websites'
5/4/2026
Did more design stuff, also more fixing the p tags (which I've made a whole mess of lol - the way I'm moving it to might also not be great but we doin it now so oh well)
5/3/2026
Playing around with making the site look more prebby :3 (and also trying to fix my poor usage of p tags 😭) - in the meantime this will probably break a lot of things
Also! Been cooking up some good stuff for the webpage intro-ing web revival ^^ I added a link to it on the homepage, with a note that it's very WIP
4/29/2026
Dead tired rn (about to go to bed) and did a lot today, but uhm as for uwusearch, cleaned some stuff up in places and added some more links just generally around
yeh :P
4/27/2026 (yes, again :3 a little later in the day)
Okay, I’m gonna do a fun little exercise, and I figured I’d toss it here in uwusearch because why not. I’m currently learning Spanish, Japanese and Toki Pona, and I can speak English, maybe know a few words of Korean (my mom’s side is Korean) and also a little French, and I wanted to switch through all of them and see how the words come out. It’s gonna be extremely messy, grammatically wrong in every possible way, and I’m going to be showing off all the rough edges of my abilities in these languages (I’m especially self-conscious of my Spanish because my hs Spanish education was lowk a bit traumatic). Here goes!
So, yo hablo ahora en toki mute; ni li probably ちょっと incomprehensible, pero ni li musi también ^^ Pienso que es importante para hablar poco ike en toki sin, porque en las palabras de Jake the dog (paraphrasing), you need to pali くそ y be 下手 antes de being 下手 lili cuando doing thingies (parentheses uwu (yes, he really said uwu (no jk I’m stretching the meaning of ‘paraphrasing’))).
I wonder to what degree ni li ilo que sina ken sona the meaning of– please do toki sobre ni e mi en mi guestbook (potentialmente en lenguas mute también - would be fun ^^ (though I most likely will not understand it lol)); I wonder if mi jo ここ the ultimate cipher (being incomprehensible mute / af).
Es interesante para mi que ni li pona (in the sense of being simple) to understand this, ni almost sama li breathing in how automatic it is. Pero pienso que también, I must have so many errors 😭 distributed en ale de ni (from a fully charitable reading). もしかして脳が becoming telo selo at this very moment (o telo selo en telo moku, sopa; je m'appelle Helle, une fille comme les autres, mais quand il y a forces du mal, je deviens… soupe ✨ (/ref a ladybug et chat noir))… Mi sona ala, pero oh well :3
Quiero hablar lili también sobre ambiguities, or at least pana una mención que ni. Primero, hay ambiguities; por ejemplo, before with “becoming telo selo at this very moment (o telo selo” – “o” here, 意味が “or” de español, pero it reads like “o kute” en “o pali”, like a command (y en toki pona, ‘o telo selo’, ‘do hot water’ www).
これがちょっと難しい; 僕の（はい”僕”,”私”じゃない,しかし僕わ女です–このdistinctionわかります）日本語はちょっとrusty, but mas de lo, es dificil para usar japonés con los otros lenguas; mi toki kepeken 日本語, taso ni li weka (in vibe y para mi (多分 solamente)) a toki ante (español, english, toki pona; in my usage here at least).
Lowk mi pilin que the language police™ are gonna show up a mi casa n be like “ayo hell nah” and I don't know really what to think about what I just wrote lol, like, まあまあ、 comme-ci comme-ça; any ways, I'll put it up :3
Also here's a poll for you on how comprehensible that was :P
4/27/2026
Woah I wrote that all out yesterday when I was *tired* lol. Tired and anxious. My OCD was probably acting up a bit, though it's difficult to articulate exactly how (also I want to be so clear, some of my obsessions/compulsions are inherently part of me; others aren't, in that I'd love to get rid of them. I've talked with my therapist about it potentially being a misdiagnosis of OCPD, but I definitely have some really debilitating obsessions/compulsions more typified by OCD. Anyways lol.)
I think some of what I wrote yesterday is a little incomprehensible, but I hope the general gist carries across. Oh yeah, the reason I'm writing this now is that I wanted to clarify some things from what I wrote yesterday. That urge to clarify, by the way, is a compulsion, but one that I consider part of me (though it likely stems from communication trauma in origin). Anyways (for the second time in this microblog entry that's becoming not so micro (if I do the 'surfing with helle' blog though, those are going to be massive essay style things, and hopefully not so waweewowewa like this is– not that that's bad)), let me clarify The Things™.
First, with the "aren't you just getting rid of things you disagree with so you don't have to consider them?", the answer is actually just no. I anticipate questions like that because I'm so used to needing to justify all of my behavior (my best understanding of this is that it's more related to the communication trauma than the obsessions/compulsions that are part of me, so this specific thing isn't really and I'd like or would have liked to be slightly different in this regard, if that makes sense), but really, I love trying to understand where people are coming from and appreciating their experiences and understandings, and many of the links on this website disagree with each other in many ways anyways, so they certainly disagree with me if one fits me into the box of having beliefs or even just views on all these things (I mentioned the views/beliefs thing yesterday, but that'll require like a few pages to clarify properly at least, but at some point maybe). Oh also, with the thing I said about feynman, I wanted to also say that like, I might still occasionally use the feynman lectures in physics. Ideally, I'd like to work through all of physics from scratch (don't even get me started on 'on the shoulders of giants'), but because of capitalistic pressures and my biologically imposed lifespan, I'm fine with getting some help from books and such (again, pages I could say on that). But anyways (x3 'anyways' combo for one 'micro'blog, yaay - I'm so sorry this is probably such a headache to read 😭 hope the headache-inducy vibes are cool tho at least), I'm not gonna bar myself from using the FLP, just not gonna link to it.
4/26/2026
Been thinking about when to not link to a site. It's been an ongoing dialogue in my mind, especially with the whole focus on appreciation of things, which I care about and want to be a part of uwusearch. An example is wiby.me, which I had previously linked to, and is a search engine for personal websites; it's also relatively well-known (at least in indie web spaces in my perception). To cut to the chase, I found a decent amount of transphobic websites indexed which rank pretty highly, and other similar things like that. For example if you search 'transgender', it's about a third straight up "the trans agenda!11!1 grrr, trans people are evil sinners!" stuff. I guess I want all the links on my website to be comfortable to me. There are some links to people talking about experiences which are really heavy (not that heavy is unplesant, I just didn't want to imply I was reading those things and feeling comfy in people talking about their struggles), but what I'm talking about is an active, oppressively weighing discomfort feeling I guess. This is something I'll be thinking more about. I'll probably change some things in 'about uwusearch' and around uwusearch to explicitly say this too maybe, at some point. I think this also means bye bye feynman (feynman lectures), though it is a good physics resource :/ There's things to be said about "aren't you just getting rid of things you disagree with so you don't have to consider them?" here, but trust me, with the overwhelming amount of websurfing I do, I get exposed to a lot of different viewpoints (some really... mean; though I do try my best to understand where people are coming from always) (and caveat, I *don't* disagree technically; I only have one belief, though in practice my views, which work in an estimation based way (the way my beliefs and views work is a loong story), are against things like transphobia)
4/24/2026 - Tweaked the design of a few things today, plus added a ton of links- mainly to videos and writing :) Been toying with an idea of a a blog here called smth like 'surfing with helleflower' focused on my experiences with & thoughts abt web revival, showing/highlighting some of the stuff I've found recently while surfing (and some of my thoughts on those things), things abt uwusearch, things like that ^^